Nothing much at the moment. But I'll tell you on my next entries when there's something interesting.
For now, hmm.

Many weeks ago...
6:48AM of the first day when we were together all night until morning - How can I be missing her voice when I was sleeping like a baby. She was just right there with be. She was just right there beside me. She was sleeping with me... That was the main reason why I was sleeping like a baby. It's because I was with her all along. I had a very very good sleep. Just that... I felt like I haven't had enough of it... I wanted to stay longer... I wanted more... I was also really tired but I wanted to stay longer... I remember waking up by my own sudden sound of snoring. And I heard that adorable laugh of hers.
= = = = =
Lost data. *A lot of things have been deleted*
It's sad to see all my microphones stored in the closet. But I'll work hard to have them back to use again, only for one person, who else.

BURGER KING! DAAAAWG!
Oh yeah I've been eating a lot of Burger King's triple whoppers lately with fries and drinks. There was the "Transformer" prize thing on every drinks and fries cartons. Over 75% of the time, I get the prize from ONLY scratching the Megatron (Decepticons) side. Funny enough, I got all of them "Winner" all the time because sometimes I ripped the Optimus Prime (Autobots) part, leading me to having no way but to scratch that side... "WINNER!"... I was curious for once, I thought we would have a prize no matter which side we scratch so... I scratched both side to see and "Sorry... Better luck next time!"... Obviously, the luck was always by my side on this thing. Anyhow, I got sick of always getting the same prizes (French toast and "Croissandwich")... Nowadays, I only leave them on the table for any lucky one to take them.
= = = = =

Because the Devil offered me the power
At some point, there are moments where I want the world to die... But after meditation, I want to save the world...
I have these powers that I keep developping nonstop in general. The powers from knowledge, intelligence, art of assassin trainings, etc. I still don't know what I'd turn into in the future. Will I choose to be Dark or Hero? Or... a dark hero? We'll see in what kind of situation I'll end up in the future. Enjoying to see any lifeform on Earth suffering in chaos... or enjoying to save them from chaos. Or both?
Friends, family, love... help me to remain intact in one side for the rest of my life. All I need is you to believe in my importance on Earth. The impact I can bring.
I don't pray. I just meditate to clean off the evil thoughts that shouldn't fit in this world. I know that at the end, the final decision is always only made by myself. But I rely a lot on people I cherish, before having a final decision. I know that I'll have a big impact in societies. But what kind of impact? My ambition is high... At the moment, it is still in the positive... But it can always have a sudden change of direction and I may turn against the Earth. I know... "Tell me, why would you turn against the Earth?"... Oh welcome to my world, pal. I create chaos because that's how I reflect my life in the future. Anonymously, like a ghost. I will have power, I'll make use of it, good or bad, whatever it takes, I'll prove my power. Don't fuck with me. I'll have mercy, or NOT.
Just watch, lifeforms.

It's time to sleep , but I still want to write somthing here.  Tonight , finished my oral enlgish test. Feeling is bad since teacher asked a question about the history of one traditional festival. My brain was blank at that moment. I totally forgot that part of history. sign....Well , there is still somthing happy today. When Igot off  the subway, I heard someone calling me ...haha,  my old friend in the college came to hug me directly. She was so excited to meet me in subway and introduced me to her bf , " she is taozi tongxue, my friend, you should meet her before , blah blah."  Unfortunately, I had to go to attend night class, otherwise, I would like to have a long talk with her . She becomes more beautiful now. It seems girls in love will be more beautiful.


Today is  children's day, so tommorrow is June 2nd...I cannot forget this date . Happy birthday , NPB,  my little brother.  Notice you are falling in love now... It's really good news. I guess you are more handsome with power of love :P Have a nice birthday ! 

6:30 AM - At house, breakfast in the morning, not feeling sleepy: Coffee yogurt, humpty dumpty ring chips, peanuts covered with wasabi and nesquick chocolate.
I woke up and washed my hair, ate breakfast, and here I am, typing in Wordpad and Notepad since I feel like wanting to start writing down how I feel, on my intense days.
I'm not used to wake up early although it was like this 5 months ago, just not as intense as now. 5 months ago was the moment when I was sleeping at 1 AM all the time since that was the most late I could ever sleep to not feel too tired later on in the day.
As I've met the best person ever in my life, until now, I feel like I'm gonna miss the moments so much, those moments where I was always sleeping so late in order to stay with her. I write this down even though I'm still gonna see that person every night (until she gets busy herself at night) and revive those moments during weekends. I write this down because of how much I'm still gonna miss those moments. Right before every sleep, I always hear the sound of skype closing communication. I always have to unlaze myself and I would usually close my laptop to put it on my computer chair before falling asleep very quickly. But before jumping back on my bed to fall asleep very quickly, I was always used to see the clock way passed 5 in the morning. On my last sleep, just before the sleep, hearing the usual skype noise as the last thing before every sleep made me feel sooo sad that time as I was not used to say good night so early to my love one... Especially when I just saw that it was 2:54 AM while I was placing my laptop on the chair... Usually, at that time, me and her would still be having fun talking together while we're both still fully awake. I'm gonna miss that moment so much... I miss her voice already even right after we said good night. I miss her already... So much... My pretty love.

7:15 AM - Heading to class.
Out of nowhere, I use the laptop in the public transport but no one cares hopefully, except my wallpaper which draws so much attention (the Audi R8 with few modifications). I've read something that didn't really give me much mood to walk forward... But I'm not gonna give up. I will definitely reply when I'll be at school for network.

8:45 AM - Class skipped, reply sent.
I already knew all the notions told in the class. I walked out of class and rather try to solve something important to my heart.

9:00 AM - Just as I wished...
I got the reply back right away and I became a happy young man.
My mood is getting back fine as I'm assured everything is alright. Phew! What I wanted to prove was revised and accepted. Hehe.

1:30 PM - Fast food!
McDonald again! And then I feel tired. Sleepy. Sleepy sleepy... I can sleep somewhere but where.

3:00 PM - Schedule?
Everyday except Wednesday afternoon, from 8 AM to 4-5 PM. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after 5:30 PM, busy, until 10 PM.
That's the new change so far. There might be even better change later where I can have shorter schedules (which will make me happy).

= = =

Girlfriend with faith.
When I don't have anything too important to think of (such as works, notions, the nature calls, etc), I just keep having my love in my mind. She's my new life essence, the big source of motivation to lead my plan of future to success. She's officially the only person who makes me have such a strong feeling I've never had before. Even to the point I could have big fear and tears falling my eyes. Isn't that surprising for a guy known as "fearless" to finally be having a big fear? I can finally feel a strong love from someone. I can finally get to understand the one I love, since she's so open. It definitely makes me wanna return the favor to give my everything to her. I love her so much. I love you... Shiena.

Happy Easter

Access?

To all of you who can't access my blog, you'll have to bypass a security which is blocking access to any website containing sexual contents.
The sexual contents in here are in the ads... Sometimes you see a girl with big boobs in her underwear. I don't control those ads here. So... :P
My sweet girl is so gonna kill me if I were the one putting those ads on purpose hahaha...

New love

Speaking of sweet girl, yes, I've found a girl I'm reserving in my heart. I thought of being in a sort of stand by but screw it. It was a fake or simply a confusing stand by. Screw it, I just couldn't resist the seduction from her.
Ahhh this new relation is so amazing when I look at it... I don't know if I'm being tricked by one of her universe's wishes hahaha just kidding... :P But I'll keep the stories of how we met just for ourselves. All I want to say here is that... I LIKE HER SO MUUUCH! She's kind, understanding, soft, so lovely, cute, can be funny, such a sexy voice she has too, ahhhh... I'll keep recording myself talking to her, or even make a part of my videos for her. :) Such a strong feeling I have... I haven't had such a strong feeling before, of being so close to someone even when I don't always see that person.

Shiena, you are the new essence of my life...

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Helping my mom living her hard life

One year later after the big car accident, my mom lost support from her job, so she no longer receives some amount of money... Very recently, she was about to lose support from the freaking "SAAQ" insurance (they help paying medical services for her). For fuck sake, we kept paying that insurance and this is how they treat my mom?! She had a spectacular car accident and she was about to get better and better (still not over yet), even doctors are pissed at SAAQ, they said it may be time for COURT if SAAQ still wanna make such a fag decision. Because they still need to give my mom many treatments.

Work / One of my organization affected

Lost my favorite teammates... And reasons were being hidden or covered with lies...
Only 2 or 3 teammates remaining for me before I totally lose moral to stay. But... things turn out to be different. I resigned by myself faster than ever expected, leaving others shocked and by not even letting them know why I resigned. I let them swim in the mystery about myself. After all, I'm known to be mysterious among people anyway.

Anyway... Losing many of my teammates made me quiet and I almost seem absent to everyone although I was always there. I had to help my mom out by then, so I told them all about it and I was counting on them to find someone else to take my spot. It was a deal we agreed for. After 2 weeks, I was accessing my organization's website to get as much news as possible, which is giving me positive signs about my absence to the group. Until the day of meeting has come closer as expected, I was about to mentally prepare my speeches about my return, giving some updates, etc... (Not using notes). But right before it, I received a call from a faithful teammate who was observing things closer. What I saw on the website was a false positive. My prepared speech turned out to be negative. Took me one night to think about what to do, what decision to make. Seriously, my decision at first was to get back but... Changed. RESIGNED. Why? Because they didn't follow the deal I made with them, which led me to have so much "dept" (not money but works) on so many parts of the organization. Screw it, bye bye.
They went like "Whhhyyy!" and I was like "This is too tough for me to handle"... and they were like "Hohoho really?! We doubt about it from what we know about you."... THAT'S when I realized I couldn't lie. Yes I'm being told by CERTAIN observers that I was the best in the organization. I never knew it was spreading everywhere... Which made me think they must have had weekly conferences, which is something no one would know except trainers and people like that. HAH! F*ck that, I'm not gonna stay. Best or not, I leave.

Back to nocturnal life.
And a bit more free time.

AsianGround

I've been working on the updates. Check it out once I'm done.
I'm also working on AG toolbar that I was testing for months. I'm starting to have a huge faith on that tool. So I'll end up release it to public.

Youtube

Nothing new. Still working on "Suddenly Psycho" for NPB way series. I mean, it's done but... I need to add the classic bleep and other little editings.

I'm currently drunk from drinking too much holland beers too fast... I forgot the name of those beers haha. They were in 500mL cans... Sexy. And when I accidentally drink too fast, it's dripping over my body. Ahhh beer smell...
Anyway...
See you around AG!

I guess it's normal for me to not write so often in my own blog.

Last post was made when my sister came back here as I can see. Now this one is few days after she went back to Switzerland.
Once again, I'm being insensitive but not from the nature. I just know how to be insensitive. I need to. That's a way to move on more easily.

But there are things that made me realize I can be consciously sensitive and weak. It's almost the only thing that would make me wanna have tears in my eyes but can't, because I'm too used to hold myself from crying ever since I was 5 years old. The ONLY thing so far. Other things don't make me really that sad but more like disappointing.
I can't even have tears when I'm free and alone to yell as loud as I could.

I feel like I wanna reset some part of my life. But coming this far, I'm not uncomfortable with who and what I am in the present but still.
There's also the good memories that we can't revive but can only remember. I looked at my brother's old room. I looked at my PS2 games collections. Every game had tons of memories that make me sad I couldn't have the same fun as before.
Old stuff like CD player and MP3 CD player bring so much memories at how cheap our technology was compared to nowadays. I'd have pity for my past brother but he belongs to the past. My present brother is different and away from here. I don't even talk much to him but I still talk the same way as before.

Recently, the presence of my sis in months (I didn't even feel like it was monthssssss) made me revive some feelings that I used to have when she was living with me and my brother. But of course I'm more mature than the little teen that I used to be. But to me, she hasn't changed. As some of you already know, well, my sister came here because she wanted to spend the christmas and new year time with her family and friends here. Also because she had a fight with her boyfriend.
I bought a new laptop and in only one week, I decided to lend her that laptop so that she could use it for the rest of the days before she goes back to Switzerland. (Meanwhile, I was using my old laptops and computers).
That laptop has skype with mic and nice webcam integrated (in fact, I'm using it right now). She used it to talk with her boyfriend pretty often. They looked ok and I would think they could be back fine together like that, from what I saw.

After she left...
I can't ignore the room where she was, because I always have to pass by there to go to my room. The whole place is so empty without my brother and sister. My sister's room is way more empty (without counting stuffed animals), but with some stuff left that she finds useless to bring. On her bed, I can see my laptop. Whenever I see that, it always means she's out with her friends or shopping or something. But in this case now, she won't be there anymore to use my laptop, for years. She's been using my laptop like a very precious thing and she really likes it. It also gave her the thought to buy another laptop as well, which is not a bad idea since she's still stuck with a very old slow Toshiba in Switzerland. It makes me have pity on her now. Her laptop is so slow that you would waste 30 minutes of your life everyday for waiting too much from the slow performance and stuff of her laptop.

Aaaah she likes to show many funny videos she found on Youtube. Something that she can't do too much with her laptop HAHAHA.

Christmas, my bro bought me a wireless mouse for my new laptop, my sis bought me two nice books to read (not novels but some cool guides). I gave my bro a gift certificate to a nice restaurant (good for him and his girlfriend - Yes he finally has a GIRLFRIEND! WTF! but me and my sis respect his privacy in the fact that we shouldn't let our parents know about it).
My gift for my sis was not given at Christmas time. Instead, it was combined with her birthday's gift. A nice Ipod classic with other gadgets. My gift totally owned her friends' gifts hahaha. My gift always owns! :P If not, it WILL own in the history record of each person I'm taking care of.
Oh yeah I was driving fast since we were VERY late for her own birthday in a restaurant. It was the first time my sis ever saw when I drive in 100% monster speed and skills. But since I was the driver, I couldn't feel the high danger. I'm very confident in my driving abilities. I've been officially told that I have surpassed my brother's speed driving abilities but not in tailgating, since my brother is a tailgate master (being behind a car by only 10cm of distance while driving at 120km/h is a scary shit I gotta tell you).
What I'm officially good at is zig zagging, drifting and knowing when to accelerate and when to slow down. I'm very good at choosing the right lane at full speed but what's strange is that I'm really poor at choosing the right lane at slow speed. I always end up making the unlucky decision of lane. Anyhow, my sis said we could have died at her birthday since I was doing a small drift near the Saint-Lawrence river at a crazy speed (and there was some potholes that I luckily avoided).

Other than that day, I drove like a grandma. Taking my time to drive. My sis even hardly requested to drive faster, something she could say to my brother though. Even when I consider myself driving normally, my parents would have a heart attack. WTF! C'mon, I don't have ANY accident in my record and ZERO speed tickets. Compared to my bro who's a veteran warrior with over 5 accidents and many speed tickets. In fact, no one has a speed ticket when I sit next to the driver. I've been used as a five-o spotter.

Aaaanyway, I don't need to tell all the fun activites we've done. My brother really got busy with his girlfriend lately.
I vowed to go with my sis at a cool POUTINE restaurant (poutine is a french canadien food) but I didn't know where the place was located. My sis knew it though. Well I vowed that we should go there before my sis goes back to Switzerland. It didn't happen. On my way to drop her at the airport, she was giving me the directions to the restaurant... it's sad it had to be that way. Because I was messed up in the directions she gave me. It would be way easier if she could come with me.
At the airport, we ate the Burger Kings Poutine before she leaves to her plane.

AAahh... All quiet now. When I lock the door, I gotta lock everything. When I lock everything, it means no one else should get in. And it's sad being in a quiet place. I usually never lock everything when I feel in a very quiet atmosphere. Because there's always someone out there who would come back later, whether it was my sis or bro.

Here I am, alone, opening this laptop to write a blog. I can see the page that my sis left open, "Yakitate!! Japan"... I guess it's time to close it. It's been opened for months from what I've seen, to keep the page of the online manga she was reading. I still hardly believe she won't be using this laptop anymore for years.

Oh yeah, worst news I've got from her return to Switzerland: She broke up with her boyfriend as she realized he lied to her all these times while they were skyping online. And all the stuff she brought to prepare with her boyfriend have been a waste. Really disappointing. No further news on how she will decide her future though, but all I know is that her boyfriend is all she's got in Switzerland. All her friends returned to Canada or their own countries. I'll surely have some updates from her later.

Next blog post will be about youtube stuff and AG. Coming up! Time to move on!
PS. I won't talk about my training problems as they are now solved as some of you already know.