That girl... now my ex...
I'm over it... I told her I won't keep up with this. I'll find a better girl. I know I deserve better. It was my feeling that has been fooling me. The feeling that made me like her.
This feeling is gone now. Completely gone. I feel nothing for her.

But why is she still being kind to me like that? What she has done is terrible to me. It's unforgivable. I thank her though for telling me the truth that because of distance, she's too hurt and now she'd rather break up. But I won't follow her wish of wanting me back as her future. Why? Because she has already found another guy. I'm not gonna keep any hope with her.

She keeps being kind, although she's now with another guy. She keeps telling me I'm still in her heart.
Blah. I don't get this because honestly, I cannot be with a girl when someone else is still in my heart. I wanna be pure and faithful! I expect the same from the girl I love or hold in my heart.
She's with a guy now, then she'd better stick with that guy and move on with him. It's actually sick to be with one guy and having another guy she wants to marry (me). Fuck this, seriously haha! Pathetic... It was already pathetic before, now, it's like overkill.

Basically, she disgusts me. That helped me not wanting anything about her being kept in my heart anymore. It's over. And because of this, for her own good, I'd rather look like a pure asshole to her than a perfect guy. Just her. I don't care what she says to her friends. I finished it off in a hell way, bad manner. Not in a heroic way. I tried to make her hate me. It worked. I warned her, I'm evil. Evil to those who hurt me the most. Angel to those who I care. Breaking up hurts me. I thought it was fair... reasons were fair... But she's now with a guy who, I assume, they were together before we broke up. All because of distance. I felt vengeance rising inside of me. Punishment. What I did was... I took all my money support back from her. I basically just took back the money I gave her when I believed in her.
She can be pissed all she wants. I don't care...
She sounded too materialistic lately. Only money would make her talk.

I've learned a lesson in life.
It's too hard for me to follow a girl who's outside of Canada. Too much paper works... And the girl is basically too weak to keep up with me. I can't trust any girl outside of Canada anymore. I don't believe in their love faith in distance anymore. I should be careful when I meet international students here in Canada. I should know if they will stay here or not (if I'm interested in them). Otherwise, I'd rather stay friends with them rather than digging deeper.
The only love distance I can accept and trust is the one inside of Canada. No need of crazy paper works with permanent residence and citizenship craps. In other words, I gotta have a lover inside of Canada from now on.
I know there's sooo plenty of good girls available here...

I can follow any girl who's local because my job is flexible (especially future job).
Anyhow, it won't be easy... So I just... Look around and keep doing what I gotta do... I'm just 22 after all, right? No need to rush in love...

It's been over a month after the break up, and as everyone know, I get over my past love so quick. Yes, one month was enough for me. But I still hold memories from my ex... But those memories don't connect with my feelings (heart) anymore... I can just remember... from my mind, I remember all that... It was beautiful to me... But I'm happier where I am now. So much happier. I'm so positive there's a better girl for my life... For now, I'm free. Free to do whatever I want. But if I ever find a girl, I'm ready... I'm ready because I made sure I no longer have feelings for my ex. I gotta make sure I'm not looking for a rebound. I gotta make sure I'm clean and pure. This is so that I could start everything new with my new important person. And I could fully focus on her. :)

I'll post the link of my new blog later. But that blog will be WAY more cleaner than this one. It will be related to my projects and stuff.
Whoever finds me here, through google, don't forget...
I'm
NPBundercover
NPBxk
NPB
XK Shiraz

I've already been working on AG2 because I expected AG forum to be down once it became more populated.
Don't worry people, things will return in a new concept. All what was in AG forum are kept as backup offline.

AG will return but not in forum yet. It will be stuck with AG2 for a while and then a forum will be made. The forum will be independent this time. We won't rely on any service.
The thing is, we gotta change some concept and keep the fun. The concept is... we gotta keep it legal despite the fact that we will be under no terms of violation craps. There's still some laws out there in industry/business/marketing. Which is why the organization welcomed a lawyer so he could help us on what's best and what could work by the laws.

We no longer want to remain underground. We want to be known, professional and organized now. Time for a new step for AG! Every big names have been through this path so let's do it!

Leave any comment (with questions if you want) and I'll reply.

Who's the pervert? There isn't supposed to be any viewers!!!
This is my ranting blog!

Anyway... That just got me an idea how to attract more fans when I'm ready to be popular.
I should title it, "Penis is Vagina".
But then I should really talk about it. I should find a nice tricky topic about it.

Naaah just kidding. But yeah I need to find some attractive titles.
By the way, the ads were about Love Finders. So they were not that nasty.

Hmmm ok so whoever reads this, stick around with my projects.
Go to AsianGround forum for some updates.

It felt so assuring last night when she popped out of nowhere to tell me to go sleep. She said it the very sweet way. I miss it so much! It shows that she still has me in her heart. It shows that she still cares. It made me feel so good, I was finally able to sleep happily.
Although the saddest part was... we couldn't say "I love you". :(

I hope it goes on like this. She's always gonna be the one I love, although she can't love me back and have to focus on herself before loving me back again.
I just hope everything I see from her isn't bad. If they look bad, I just hope they were illusions, as she told me that I shouldn't take everything she does badly. I gotta believe her. I have faith. I'm the most faithful. I won't be selfish for her, and I hope she won't be selfish either, because she explained to me what would make her selfish.

I really hope she keeps her words. Because I take every words of her at heart.
I'll always love you Shiena.

Penis in vagina
Penis in vagina
Penis in vagina

Let's see what the ads will get for these words.

Being traumatized amazingly keeps me awake more than anything else. Not even coffee can do that. Not even close.