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Posts sent in: May 2009

The beginning of intensive days...
28 May 2009 
6:30 AM - At house, breakfast in the morning, not feeling sleepy: Coffee yogurt, humpty dumpty ring chips, peanuts covered with wasabi and nesquick chocolate.
I woke up and washed my hair, ate breakfast, and here I am, typing in Wordpad and Notepad since I feel like wanting to start writing down how I feel, on my intense days.
I'm not used to wake up early although it was like this 5 months ago, just not as intense as now. 5 months ago was the moment when I was sleeping at 1 AM all the time since that was the most late I could ever sleep to not feel too tired later on in the day.
As I've met the best person ever in my life, until now, I feel like I'm gonna miss the moments so much, those moments where I was always sleeping so late in order to stay with her. I write this down even though I'm still gonna see that person every night (until she gets busy herself at night) and revive those moments during weekends. I write this down because of how much I'm still gonna miss those moments. Right before every sleep, I always hear the sound of skype closing communication. I always have to unlaze myself and I would usually close my laptop to put it on my computer chair before falling asleep very quickly. But before jumping back on my bed to fall asleep very quickly, I was always used to see the clock way passed 5 in the morning. On my last sleep, just before the sleep, hearing the usual skype noise as the last thing before every sleep made me feel sooo sad that time as I was not used to say good night so early to my love one... Especially when I just saw that it was 2:54 AM while I was placing my laptop on the chair... Usually, at that time, me and her would still be having fun talking together while we're both still fully awake. I'm gonna miss that moment so much... I miss her voice already even right after we said good night. I miss her already... So much... My pretty love.

7:15 AM - Heading to class.
Out of nowhere, I use the laptop in the public transport but no one cares hopefully, except my wallpaper which draws so much attention (the Audi R8 with few modifications). I've read something that didn't really give me much mood to walk forward... But I'm not gonna give up. I will definitely reply when I'll be at school for network.

8:45 AM - Class skipped, reply sent.
I already knew all the notions told in the class. I walked out of class and rather try to solve something important to my heart.

9:00 AM - Just as I wished...
I got the reply back right away and I became a happy young man.
My mood is getting back fine as I'm assured everything is alright. Phew! What I wanted to prove was revised and accepted. Hehe.

1:30 PM - Fast food!
McDonald again! And then I feel tired. Sleepy. Sleepy sleepy... I can sleep somewhere but where.

3:00 PM - Schedule?
Everyday except Wednesday afternoon, from 8 AM to 4-5 PM. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after 5:30 PM, busy, until 10 PM.
That's the new change so far. There might be even better change later where I can have shorter schedules (which will make me happy).

= = =

Girlfriend with faith.
When I don't have anything too important to think of (such as works, notions, the nature calls, etc), I just keep having my love in my mind. She's my new life essence, the big source of motivation to lead my plan of future to success. She's officially the only person who makes me have such a strong feeling I've never had before. Even to the point I could have big fear and tears falling my eyes. Isn't that surprising for a guy known as "fearless" to finally be having a big fear? I can finally feel a strong love from someone. I can finally get to understand the one I love, since she's so open. It definitely makes me wanna return the favor to give my everything to her. I love her so much. I love you... Shiena.
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ExKeDemonized - (Fiction into reality)
23 May 2009 
As you guys know, I'm often standing by scientists side. But when they say that there are no other creatures who can be smarter than humans and none can be more "complete than humans" in every universe and dimension, I'm sorry but I can only hardly agree about that statement and I find it pretty arrogant of their part although I gotta have to admit something, I'm also pretty arrogant about my own belief myself. I believe there can be creatures with higher intelligence than us somewhere unreachable to us and our high-technology space tools and stuff. With intelligence so high, that's what makes the creatures deadlier, especially in terms of anihilations. Also their special powers. Their power can strike fast on Earth and spread on few secretful human beings often nicknamed as "Demons". Every demon has different level and unique abilities though.

Being a demon among a crowd of human beings is pretty fun. You're being an unique deadly creature with intimidating aura. Being unique makes you noticeable and it attracts quick attentions. People are scared of you and you feel good about it. But in a way, the disadvantage of being a powerful demon is when you wanna go incognito among humans. You're being easily spotted by gods and angels who only have clean souls. Those with pure clean souls can easily spot the very intimidating demon.

Where does this power of devil come from, when I'm fully possessed and unconscious because of a too high level of anger that my human body cannot even support? There's a devil soul in me somewhere that even angels have given me the power to keep it sealed in this human looking body long enough until it dies. But full anger is my weakness, letting this show up again to the surface only when I'm fully provoked. I do not take human souls in order to become a deadlier demon. When I see one innocent dead corpse with its lost soul flying around in the air, I just guide it to a peaceful place of the world. When I see one unpured soul coming from a dead corpse full of sin, I just throw that soul into the "garbage of hell". Every soul collected will all be recycled into a source of evil and dark power that can only be borrowed by the devil soul. That's where the power of devil comes from, when his soul comes to surface. It's his essence of strength. The power that even 100 humans have no match against. I'm just another type of "thing" that has to manage the devil force and the good force. I'm just an average human who got familiar with unwanted powers.
I'm not born with any belief. Humans and angels themselves made me develop my own belief by the time. The devil only kept quiet and made every single devilish actions without speaking a single word. In the meantime, I'm still just a demon who would even rebel against his own demon world where he came from, just to make some changes in this world, secretly. I'm a demon who won't provoke any chaos to happen, but would love to participate in a very chaotic world.

What's the pride of being a special rebel demon? I believe rebels are everywhere. I may have scary dark sides but for good main intention. Sometimes it takes two negatives to bring up the positives and I intend to sacrifice myself for that. I'm ready for chaotic world as long as I'm under no one's order.
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