I guess it's normal for me to not write so often in my own blog.

Last post was made when my sister came back here as I can see. Now this one is few days after she went back to Switzerland.
Once again, I'm being insensitive but not from the nature. I just know how to be insensitive. I need to. That's a way to move on more easily.

But there are things that made me realize I can be consciously sensitive and weak. It's almost the only thing that would make me wanna have tears in my eyes but can't, because I'm too used to hold myself from crying ever since I was 5 years old. The ONLY thing so far. Other things don't make me really that sad but more like disappointing.
I can't even have tears when I'm free and alone to yell as loud as I could.

I feel like I wanna reset some part of my life. But coming this far, I'm not uncomfortable with who and what I am in the present but still.
There's also the good memories that we can't revive but can only remember. I looked at my brother's old room. I looked at my PS2 games collections. Every game had tons of memories that make me sad I couldn't have the same fun as before.
Old stuff like CD player and MP3 CD player bring so much memories at how cheap our technology was compared to nowadays. I'd have pity for my past brother but he belongs to the past. My present brother is different and away from here. I don't even talk much to him but I still talk the same way as before.

Recently, the presence of my sis in months (I didn't even feel like it was monthssssss) made me revive some feelings that I used to have when she was living with me and my brother. But of course I'm more mature than the little teen that I used to be. But to me, she hasn't changed. As some of you already know, well, my sister came here because she wanted to spend the christmas and new year time with her family and friends here. Also because she had a fight with her boyfriend.
I bought a new laptop and in only one week, I decided to lend her that laptop so that she could use it for the rest of the days before she goes back to Switzerland. (Meanwhile, I was using my old laptops and computers).
That laptop has skype with mic and nice webcam integrated (in fact, I'm using it right now). She used it to talk with her boyfriend pretty often. They looked ok and I would think they could be back fine together like that, from what I saw.

After she left...
I can't ignore the room where she was, because I always have to pass by there to go to my room. The whole place is so empty without my brother and sister. My sister's room is way more empty (without counting stuffed animals), but with some stuff left that she finds useless to bring. On her bed, I can see my laptop. Whenever I see that, it always means she's out with her friends or shopping or something. But in this case now, she won't be there anymore to use my laptop, for years. She's been using my laptop like a very precious thing and she really likes it. It also gave her the thought to buy another laptop as well, which is not a bad idea since she's still stuck with a very old slow Toshiba in Switzerland. It makes me have pity on her now. Her laptop is so slow that you would waste 30 minutes of your life everyday for waiting too much from the slow performance and stuff of her laptop.

Aaaah she likes to show many funny videos she found on Youtube. Something that she can't do too much with her laptop HAHAHA.

Christmas, my bro bought me a wireless mouse for my new laptop, my sis bought me two nice books to read (not novels but some cool guides). I gave my bro a gift certificate to a nice restaurant (good for him and his girlfriend - Yes he finally has a GIRLFRIEND! WTF! but me and my sis respect his privacy in the fact that we shouldn't let our parents know about it).
My gift for my sis was not given at Christmas time. Instead, it was combined with her birthday's gift. A nice Ipod classic with other gadgets. My gift totally owned her friends' gifts hahaha. My gift always owns! :P If not, it WILL own in the history record of each person I'm taking care of.
Oh yeah I was driving fast since we were VERY late for her own birthday in a restaurant. It was the first time my sis ever saw when I drive in 100% monster speed and skills. But since I was the driver, I couldn't feel the high danger. I'm very confident in my driving abilities. I've been officially told that I have surpassed my brother's speed driving abilities but not in tailgating, since my brother is a tailgate master (being behind a car by only 10cm of distance while driving at 120km/h is a scary shit I gotta tell you).
What I'm officially good at is zig zagging, drifting and knowing when to accelerate and when to slow down. I'm very good at choosing the right lane at full speed but what's strange is that I'm really poor at choosing the right lane at slow speed. I always end up making the unlucky decision of lane. Anyhow, my sis said we could have died at her birthday since I was doing a small drift near the Saint-Lawrence river at a crazy speed (and there was some potholes that I luckily avoided).

Other than that day, I drove like a grandma. Taking my time to drive. My sis even hardly requested to drive faster, something she could say to my brother though. Even when I consider myself driving normally, my parents would have a heart attack. WTF! C'mon, I don't have ANY accident in my record and ZERO speed tickets. Compared to my bro who's a veteran warrior with over 5 accidents and many speed tickets. In fact, no one has a speed ticket when I sit next to the driver. I've been used as a five-o spotter.

Aaaanyway, I don't need to tell all the fun activites we've done. My brother really got busy with his girlfriend lately.
I vowed to go with my sis at a cool POUTINE restaurant (poutine is a french canadien food) but I didn't know where the place was located. My sis knew it though. Well I vowed that we should go there before my sis goes back to Switzerland. It didn't happen. On my way to drop her at the airport, she was giving me the directions to the restaurant... it's sad it had to be that way. Because I was messed up in the directions she gave me. It would be way easier if she could come with me.
At the airport, we ate the Burger Kings Poutine before she leaves to her plane.

AAahh... All quiet now. When I lock the door, I gotta lock everything. When I lock everything, it means no one else should get in. And it's sad being in a quiet place. I usually never lock everything when I feel in a very quiet atmosphere. Because there's always someone out there who would come back later, whether it was my sis or bro.

Here I am, alone, opening this laptop to write a blog. I can see the page that my sis left open, "Yakitate!! Japan"... I guess it's time to close it. It's been opened for months from what I've seen, to keep the page of the online manga she was reading. I still hardly believe she won't be using this laptop anymore for years.

Oh yeah, worst news I've got from her return to Switzerland: She broke up with her boyfriend as she realized he lied to her all these times while they were skyping online. And all the stuff she brought to prepare with her boyfriend have been a waste. Really disappointing. No further news on how she will decide her future though, but all I know is that her boyfriend is all she's got in Switzerland. All her friends returned to Canada or their own countries. I'll surely have some updates from her later.

Next blog post will be about youtube stuff and AG. Coming up! Time to move on!
PS. I won't talk about my training problems as they are now solved as some of you already know.